When I'm not trying so hard, which is happening more and more often, I realize that I have a really good life.
I don't have everything that I want and I don't always have everything that I need, but I have some good people around me who care about me (even when my brain says they don't or shouldn't). I have things to do that challenge me and that I enjoy.
I'm coming to realize, (... Again?) that I don't have to keep track of everything that everyone thinks I need to keep track of. (I'm in the process of culling Facebook groups and pages.) Andd if what makes me happy is unpopular who cares, if it bothers people it's not my problem unless they try to change me which point I can take necessary action, but people don't care unless I put a counterpoint on a news site on Facebook. Why do I care what they think anyway?
"Why do I care?" is a good question. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it and there are just so many asshats running around. But I can't fix everyone... Or anyone for that matter. So I choose to live by example.
In other news:
I have found that eating too many carbs, espechily grains throws my moods off and that exercise is a joy that wrangles my moods back in. I found myself wondering why it takes to become a trainer or fitness coach this morning. I'll look in to that later though if the idea sticks with me.
-swept the kitchen and foyer
-started dishes x2
-wiped down counters
-put trash and recycling at curb
-cleaned downstairs litter boxes
-took to/picked up books at library
-checked Facebook notifications
-chatted with Michelle and Jaidyn
-read some of Ever After by Kim Harrison
-made dinner, chicken/turkey and carrots soup
-read 30 pages
-arranged to have my cape hemmed by a friend finally
-had meeting with Derwin's nurse supervisor
To be edited as I go. ;)
I think that we've been taught that if we go under, or rather within, that we will find darkness and the worst parts of humanity, yet the best parts of ourselves are often hiding there in the darkness with us waiting to be found and worked with.