Savant's Haven

Jus in belo - 'just conduct in warfare'

0047 on the 31st
Ugh! I really need to stop eating things because their there and I THINK I SHOULD be hungry.   I ate more than half a bowl of popcorn and now I feel sick. Ugh! 

Living is expensive, but life is cheap. 

I opened my first sauerkraut today. I started it in February. It smelled so good when I opened it! I used half to make pork and kraut in my slowcooker today and the rest is in my fridge for hotdogs, or maybe more of this. XD. I'm so glad my Amanda made pork and kraut a few years ago and I tried it. This stuff is fabulous.

Better and not perfect is still better than nothing at all. 

Nothing like a good Facebook meme to point out sore spots in your emotions. So there's this Facebook quiz that analyzes your Facebook account and friends list and tells you who the angel and devils are sitting on your shoulder. Amanda got me/angel, and David/devil (Revarend Oni). And really it makes since with oni and how he fits in to her life and how he is now. But I am who I am now as much due to circumstances as because of any real personality quirk, and it irritates me that everyone seems to think I'm this really nice pushover type of person. Oh she's nice. She sweet. She's loyal. She'll do anything for a friend. She takes care of people. Etc. it bugs me that I care and part of why I care is because I don't want to have to leave my friends behind because they can't fucking keep up on a maturity, emotional, spiritual level. It always leaves out that I'm a ruthless fighter. That I would kill someone given cause. It leaves out my mysinthropy.

I can say almost anything I want at almost any time. People don't listen to me so they don't get to hear the funny and wrong things I say.

Just because something works for someone else doesn't mean that it will work for you.

I must remember, just because it's time to eat and there is delicious food does not mean I have to eat if I'm not really hungry. I must take the time to determine if I am really hungry.

I had a great day hanging out and shopping with Brian. We went to Harbor Frieght for some tools and supplies he will need to work on his truck and casters for my cart. Then we were going to get a cheese steak at the food carts but they were not open so we went two carts over for a delicious burger. I ordered a Cowgirl Up. I'll have to remember to only get a single next time, but my gods was it delicious, even though I was unable to finish. We did some grocery shopping at Winco. 

When we got home and after groceries were put away I started the thawed chicken in the slowcooker. I stuffed it with sundries tomatoes, put it on a bed on onions and seasoned it with Old World Spice from Penzeeys.

I went to game night at Kat and Taylor's house, and we played Game of Thrones with Erik. Erik started to give off grumpy to be losing energy which I tried to ease. Taylor one, he often does in game of tactics. Damon is the same way. 

I came home to some wonderful food. I smelled it coming from the house as I pulled in to the driveway. Sadly Brian could smell it because he had been exposed to it while it cooks. I fed Derwin and myself. Now my stomach feels too full, so I guess it's a really good thing it tasted good. Tomorrow I'm making pork and kraut. Yum! 

Today has been mellow. Jaidyn called and we talked until he had to leave to get school clothes for his kid. I've read a bunch. I've spent a lot of time in Facebook groups. 

Amanda and Damon came back from the trip to his home town for his brother's wedding. We stood around talking for a good thirty minutes, and they gave me brian and my gifts from their trip. Damon behaved better than he said he was going to which I am happy he did. He's also breaking up with the annoying child Cassie, if he hasn't already than this weekend. I'm not too surprised that she wasn't "the one". He and Amanda seem well matched in the give a fuck and willing to put effort into a relationship arenas. 

I need to remember that when I am hone sing for something sweet to make a mug of golden milk. This stuff is second only to biting in to a well seasoned, warm, juicy, steak. I need to stop buying myself junk food and I need to keep healthy eats readily avalible, and prepped if at all possible. 

One of the things I love about my life is that within a certain scope I can do what I want when I want to. Stay up reading until 5 o'clock in the morning? Not a problem sleep until 2 o'clock in the afternoon? Not a problem!! Cook for we have in the house all day? Not a problem. Mix herbs and potions on a whim? Not a problem! 

What's the point of having nurses if the only thing they really do is collect a paycheck?

If you can't tell yourself the truth you have no right telling it to others. 

I've had a rather long rambling conversation with Hilary this evening. Alchemy, herbal preparations, healing, diet, etc. it was nice because she seems genuinely interested in the topics, whether it leads anywhere is not my duck I suppose. I just pass out the information. I can't make people use it.  I wish I enjoyed it more. I find talking with her aggravating. Like I'm constantly fighting to get a word in edgewise or hold my ground in the conversation. Not content or intolerance wise, but rather word count wise. 

I ordered some of Derwin's meds today. I'll go pick them up tomorrow before brian goes to work. 

I'm making chicken soup for dinner. I'm using up the last of the carrots before they go bad, six small potatoes, and a bag of Brussels sprouts. It looks and smells good. 
Chicken                  .83
Potatoes                .31
Carrots                  .16
Brussels sprouts 1.50
Onions.                  .25
Garlic.                    .02

This will feed the three of us for at least two meals each. Not bad if I do say so myself. I need to keep this stuff in mind and plan for more food like this. 

I fried chicken breasts marinated in fire cider spice and olive oil and set in the fridge for quick snacks and lunches. 

I need to take advantage of bulk sales and such. Start stocking up on shelf stable food stuffs through dehydration and canning. This includes meat. Next year I'm buying my own pressure canner. Or maybe I will see if I can get a good deal on one during the online Black Friday sales. 

I feel overstimulated today, like I want to be completely alone, yet I might welcome a good conversation about prepping, gardening, or survival. I keep turning my music on and off again. I want stimulation but it's too much of the wrong kind. 

Next year I will be buying books and tools for homesteading and survival. But I will also be making sure we have adequate food on our table, start saving some money for emergencies, and drying / canning foods. 

What is it about me that makes people feel like they can talk to me about anything for long periods of time? Why is it that I feel comfortable doing the same with one, maybe two people in the world? 

I spend too much time on Facebook. I want to spend more time learning wildcrafting and plant identification and what to use them for. 

$8.86 left on ebt 

Yesterday I have my last root canal finished. It was nice to hear that I didn't actually need yet another after this. My mouth is sore 

0118 of the 22nd
I love being too stupid and too slow to bag fucking groceries. I love being too stupid to play my own fucking characters in board games. 

Today I've:
-Finished syncing my music to my phone. Seems to have finally worked, and it only took three days.
-took a book back to the library before it was overdue.
-canceled holds on library books I was never likely to read.
-turned my strained milk kefir into sour team and chives dip. Yum!
-put dishes away.
-made milk kefir shake for breakfast.
-made fresh coffee.
-got up early so hopefully I can continue to do so and avoid the nurses in my house, and the stupid shit they do.

I wonder how much of my life is meaningless? Does any of it matter over all, or is really about weather it matters to me?

I've finished peeling and wrapping five trays of hibiscus/brown sugar scoby snacks. Took blood well forever and I stabbed my thumb with the knife. I also learned that it's easier to peel them up with my thumbnail. Go figure.

Brian got called in to work early. Woot! Overtime.

I'm waiting for the oxygen delivery guy who should be here by two o'clock. I'm planning to read most of the day. Then fry some cabbage to go with leftover chicken.



I like being helpful. It makes me happy to help people who are in need to help or information and who appreciate it.


I don't like many individual humans anymore, and most of them are ungrateful and inconsiderate.

I've gotten even more things done today. 
-some reading. 
-fried up the bacon ends for bacon bits. 
-used some of the bacon for a bacon, broccoli, cheddar bowl for lunch. 
-currently frying up two heads of cabbage to nom on for the next few days. 
-when it's done I'm going to throw a cabbage and chicken bowl to put in the fridge for brian when he gets home. 
-I scheduled the appointment in September for Lil'Bit to be spayed. 
-took delivery of Derwin's oxygen. I like that delivery guy. 
-I cut the rest of that old box of wax paper into wrappers for more scoby candies. Koffucha scoby candies on parchment are coming up next. 

I'm looking forward to giving report to the nurse, taking a shower, and going to bed "early" (around 10pm) this evening. She's nice enough, reminds me of Mama Toni, Nick's mom, but I really don't feel like getting to know, or entertaining either of the new nurses. I miss Joann, I even miss Michele. I'm really missing my mom. 


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